Saturday, November 10, 2012 |

Welcome to Terri-Town

I wrote this in response to a dialogue I was having on a Conservative Talk Show host's Facebook page...

You can find the whole conversation HERE

Conservatives are scrambling to find out how they can attract people to their cause.  After much thought - this is what I believe:


I appreciate the time, thought and effort you put into analyzing females. What I don't think you take into consideration in your analysis of this conspiracy theory - it is extremely offensive to women to think FOR us or even worse - tell US what WE think (again, this is the disconnect).
I am a woman. I am independent. I have a brain and I use it. I see things from a different perspective BUT I do know when a man is trying to control me - and to be honest... THAT's not going to happen willingly. Saying that a woman's "innate urge to be cared for" and that we are "programmed" into being "catered to" - that is EXACTLY what feminism is against.

To be honest, what you wrote (about women) offends me - because I am the only "son" my father (a Republican) raised. He never placed limits on me and he NEVER made me think that I needed a companion to depend on or that I should get assistance from the government. He taught me self-reliance and determination - not because he was a republican... because he was a good man who wanted more for me than raising kids, cooking dinner and sitting at home waiting on a man (not that there's anything wrong with that choice). I was an only child... so I wasn't just "Daddy's Girl"... I was his son too. I was  EXPECTED to do whatever was asked of me - because I wasn't limited to "womanly" tasks. I didn't play with dolls - I had Tonka Trucks, Matchbox Cars, and a cool village with roadways carved out in the dirt - by the roots of the big Maple tree in our back yard. (BTW, I raised my kids the same way).
I can drop a tranny, change an alternator, cut down trees, problem solve, manage people (at work), write CSS and XHTML, raise my kids, take care of my home, and a host of other things - BY MYSELF. I am independent, strong willed and open-minded. My husband (of 24 years) supports everything I do - and to be honest, I don't think I could be in a relationship that put any restriction on me.

The "traditional family" is a fallacy. I have a menagerie of kids that call me "Mom" that I didn't have the pleasure of conceiving. They don't ask to go in my fridge, they put their feet on my couch, and they know where we keep the clean towels. I have very close friends in same sex marriages that have adopted (unwanted) children because pro-choice doesn't mean pro-abortion. They don't love the children any less or any differently than if they had given birth to them. The children are fine with having 2 moms or 2 dads. Not to mention the multitude of my friends that are going it alone with little or no help from the other parent.  All of these children - because of their "untraditional family" are growing up just fine (and may be better off) because they are surrounded by people that love them. 
What I do see (and know)... pro-life actually means pro-birth. If you ask a pro-birther how many (unwanted) children they've adopted... 9.5 out of 10 will tell you none. ALSO, the majority of Pro-lifers support the death penalty (another hypocrisy - leads to the disconnect).

What makes me a (spiritual, not religious) liberal is that I empathize with people in the struggle. What makes me believe that our government plays a roll in creating a safety net for our struggling population is - the private sector picks winners and losers (because they have a bottom line to justify)... the government will help everyone.  I do not advocate for women to have 10 babies to collect a check - but I do know more often than not, people fall on hard times and because the private sector (and some non-profits) can pick and choose who they want to help... too many people will be left behind. My mother calls me a "bleeding heart liberal" and I'm cool with that because I know that we DO live in the greatest country on earth - but we treat our citizens as if we live in a 3rd world country. I certainly don't make enough money to save our nation - but I think collectively we can make a difference and the government is in a position to coordinate that effort.
There are people in our population that do not have the mental capacity to hold a job (that's a fact). There are people in our population that do not have the physical capacity to hold a job (that's a fact). The children and the elderly deserve our support. Children don't ask to be brought into our world and sometimes against better judgement - they are... leaving them in unthinkable living situations. There are not enough people with the means to care for that sector of the population without some sort of assistance. 

In a perfect world, everyone should hold 6 jobs to take care of their family (or do whatever it takes).  Some people's circumstances would never allow them to hold 6 jobs. So, because it works for some - it doesn't work for all. It's a personal journey and those that can't - may need a hand up from time to time. Personally - I do without before I ask for assistance but my breaking point (and priorities) are different than others that may be in similar circumstances.
The biggest part of the disconnect - and I get my news from multiple sources - (and enjoy listening to JD because all though we don't agree on everything - I appreciate his perspective) IS (and this is my perspective)... Religion has no place in government. Laws cannot be made with any tinges of religion involved. My rights cannot be infringed on because YOU (and that's a general YOU) sin differently than me. If YOU don't believe in same sex marriage, don't marry someone from the same sex. If YOU don't believe in abortion, don't have one. If YOU don't like contraception - don't use it. If YOU don't like weed - don't smoke it. These are just some of the social issues that drive the Liberal base. These are the things that draw a large divide between the parties. We are not telling conservatives to have abortions, we are not telling conservatives to marry someone from the same sex - but why are these topics even on the table? The premise of the constitution is your ability to live with freedom (EXCEPT when Conservatives THINK something is immoral).

Throwing communism, socialism and marxism around makes everything you say after it sound like "WAH WAH WAH". We tune you out. Because in 1 breath you cannot say "The Constitution" and the next breath say "You can't do this". It's THAT SIMPLE. We need a society of laws for a civil society but these things have to be tempered with - if I'm not bothering you (I haven't crossed into your personal space)... no law needed.
Obamacare has it's place in our society because healthcare is not negotiable. Things that are negotiable and are on the table for a free market are material things (Cars, Houses, Appliances etc.) because if you can't afford a beemer, you can negotiate or compromise to find something more in your price range. If you can't afford a mcmansion - you live with what you can afford until you change your circumstances and have the ability to buy one. You may not have a big-screen, so you make due with a 19 inch... HEALTHCARE is not a free market item. If you are dying and need healthcare (insurance) but you can't afford it (or have been denied) - the only thing a provider is required to do is stabilize you. If you don't have the money to pay for procedures that would improve your quality of life - you die (or go bankrupt). That's because there are "bottom lines". People should not have to choose between eating and going to the doctor. Your life (and health) are not negotiable. And to swing back around to the disconnect - most conservatives are pro-life, until you can't afford your hospital bill - then you can die (or go bankrupt).  Obamacare provides manageable personal responsibility. Just like we pay our taxes to improve our country (infrastructure, services, security)... using the buying power of a nation (and everyone then takes personal responsibility) to make (and keep) everyone healthy - will have long term effects on costs and prosperity. When people have to file bankruptcy because they were having a heart attack and get tagged with a $79,000 bill - who do you think picks up those costs?  It's like shoplifting - the "store" is going to get their money back somehow - so they pass the cost down to the other consumers. Obamacare is preventing that.

I know this is pretty lengthy - and I apologize for my verbosity - but as I listen to conservative radio on my ride to and from work... after Obama won his second term - (despite some radical - and in some cases racial opposition) - the nation took a turn to the left. Liberals are not going to be bullied (on a national level) by the right fringe. We are becoming an open-minded society and some of the religious right are losing their minds over it.
All the FOX pundits are saying "what is wrong" - but when people like me provide feedback - you tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Stop rejecting our opinion and trying to "strategize" how to attract people and just be yourself. I don't hold it against you (I was raised by republican parents) and you are entitled to your beliefs - as long as you don't force me to believe what you do... because it's not going to happen. I won't hold it against you if you don't use birth control or need viagra - it's your life... do your thing (as long as your thing doesn't cross into Terri-Town).   ;) 
Sunday, August 19, 2012 |

What are they scared of?


I’m back (well, kinda).
I’ve been attending life.  I’m sure you can relate.

Anyways…
I have to vent and my FB page is not really the appropriate place to do it – based on the length of this topic. I have been posting minor rants, but this is more of an essay long rant.

In saying that, I don’t want to soak up newsfeed real estate for the casual FB user that doesn’t want to see my bullshit when they’re trying to find pictures and keep up on gossip – so, putting it here – it’s a choice if you clicked the link to get here.
I need to lay out my thoughts on Gay Marriage and the religious “law abiding” hypocrites that oppose it. I have many friends and family that are gay. I love them. I love them so much – I want them to have and experience the same commitment (joy, happiness, anger & frustration) in their life as I have – if they choose to.

So, first let me say that - I really don’t care if you oppose Gay Marriage. That’s your right. It doesn’t work for you. I GET THAT. In saying that though… if it doesn’t work for you – why does your view (or belief) have to be appropriate for someone that does believe in it?
If a law permitting gay marriage is passed, and you don’t believe in gay marriage – no one is forcing you to marry someone that is gay. No one is saying you have to be gay.

Let me paint the picture for you so you can understand why I am so passionate about this subject.
On June 12th, 1967… 1 year and 4 months after I was born, the US Supreme Court knocked down a Virginia statute barring whites from marrying nonwhites. The decision also overturned similar bans in 15 other states. So that means – in my lifetime – it would have been against the law for me to marry a black man. IN MY LIFETIME!!!  Get it? Like states had laws on their books that said different races could not get married to each other because their religious (or whatever other twisted belief) made them write a law saying that.

So, since the law was passed, if you choose to marry someone from your own race – you can still do that. If you choose to marry someone from another race, you can do that too. IT’S A CHOICE. No one is forcing you to marry outside of your race just because there is a law that says everyone has the right to do it.

40+ years later, certain states want to prohibit another protected class of citizens from getting married.
There but for the Grace of God, go I.

(And in stating all of that - I still get dirty looks, snide remarks and discriminated against because of my choice to marry someone from another race)


Times change. People evolve...some slower than others.
There are some that want to hold on to the pre-60’s though. I get that too… but, making laws that prohibit a group of people from practicing (and benefitting from) the same thing that another group of people can do – is WRONG. There is no argument that can be made to validate it. If you’re making an argument to ban gay marriage – your argument is subjective. The objective argument is – we are ALL guaranteed the right of Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness.
It’s that simple.
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I had a conversation with a coworker the other day. We have similar social and political views and were having the conversation about gay marriage. I said, “Why would anyone want to impose their beliefs on someone else – when, as a country, we have the right to religious freedom… it’s what the country was built on.”  Without hesitating, she replied, “this country wasn’t built on religious freedom – people came here to avoid persecution because their religious beliefs were so radical, Europe didn’t want their kind there and they were given the choice to leave or stay and go to jail.”

I was stuck. That’s not what the text books told me. I had to think about that…
I thought about it for the rest of the day – and most of the next morning. What she said made complete sense. We have people that live here now that try to justify their actions, in God’s name…. and although they claim to be devout followers of their religion, they twist the bible (or whatever book of God they read) to suit their needs.

Wow – this has me fucked up now. How can people be so blind? How can people be so manipulative?

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I was listening to a conservative talk show on the way home from work the other day and the host said “Jesus said gays should not marry”.  I probably looked like a raving lunatic screaming at the radio while doing 70 mph driving home – but, people believe this shit! And because some nut job that has a few hours to touch many, many people within the sound of his voice, says something – THEY BELIEVE IT!!!  

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So, I guess the best way I could sum this up is… we are in a civil rights pressure cooker right now. Take out N***** and put in F*****. Seriously… this is what it must have felt like to be in the heat of trying to get equal rights for a group of people. So, the individuals that don’t like homosexuals – openly (to their face) call them names, discriminate against them, make laws to prohibit their pursuit of happiness… and then get offended when you call them on it - claiming "freedom of speech". These same individuals want to impose laws limiting freedom.

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I was accused by a conservative acquaintance that I have a closed mind because I will not accept his “belief” that gay marriage is wrong. As much as I tell him that he doesn’t have to marry someone that is gay (or Black, or Hispanic, or Asian) just because it’s legal – he still sticks to his guns that making a law that restricts someone’s right to pursue happiness is within his right to do so – because he doesn’t believe that gays should get married.

It’s a brick wall.

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My only question is: What are they scared of?

Sunday, January 22, 2012 |

C.R.A.F.T.

 I originally wrote this August 10th, 2010.  Not much has changed since then… if anything – it’s gotten worse! 

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I list on my resume: Strong ability to Multi-task.  I put that because I want any future potential employer to know that I thrive on being all over the place.  If I went to a Dr – they would probably diagnose me with AADD.  I’ve saved them the trouble and diagnosed myself.  My positive spin is that I multi-task well.


Let me describe a little about my day.  I work from home.  So I have dual jobs.  I can take a break from my paid job and tend to some of my housework during my breaks.

When I wake up in the morning, it’s “my job” to turn on the pot for coffee.  Mind you, my husband was raised with 4 sisters and is no rookie when it comes to housework.  He had a big family but his mother didn’t discriminate when it came to handing out chores – he washed dishes, clothes, vacuumed, swept floors … which I now reap the benefits of – but, it’s “my job” to turn on the pot ;-).  Let’s add in to this scenario that he has to leave the house at 6:15am. One of the benefits of working from home, I basically set my own hours – I don’t need an alarm clock in my life and some of my most creative moments come at 10 o’clock at night when everyone is winding down for the day.  But, it is a partnership and he fixes the coffee (“his job”) just the way I like it – so, I guess even though I wake up at an un-Godly hour – it’s not in vain.

The rest of my day generally goes like this:

He leaves for work.  I have my coffee and laptop (my lifeline to the world).  Since it’s early (and quiet), I check emails from the day before, browse some regular websites for some early morning news (Newsday, Yahoo, and Facebook) and wait for my cousin (BFF) to get online so we can have coffee “together”.

·        I let the dogs in.

·         I Go out with my pooper scooper and find the land mines.

·         Come in – wash my hands and get back to where I left off. 

·         Coffee is low. 

·         Get up to make coffee. 

·         Dogs need a snack (they were good for pooping outside).

·         Turn on the pot.

·         Give the babies their snacks.

·         Take out the garbage (because I’m waiting for the water to get hot).

·         Someone dropped some papers in front of the house – go pick them up, put them in the garbage.

·         Walking back in – the entry needs to be swept. 

·         Go to the garage, to get the broom and everything is thrown all over, so I need to organize it. 

·         I get everything in order.

·         Close the garage door to go back inside.

·         CRAP!  I forgot to get the broom. 

·         Go back to the garage, find the broom.

·         Sweep up the entry. 

·         I notice my fern needs water so I set the broom down, go inside and get the water jug. 

·         Fill it up and see the babies need fresh water. 

·         I fill their dish and their food dish while I’m at it. 

·         Go outside to water the fern – left the broom by the door.

·         Put the broom away.

·         Water the fern.

·         Come in and put the jug away.

·         Go sit in front of my laptop.

·         Where’s my coffee?

·         (Mental head slap).

·         Water’s not hot anymore.

·         Turn the pot on.

·         Go get a load to put in the washer (while the water heats up).

·         Make the bed.

·         Use the bathroom.

·         Go back in the kitchen.

·         Forgot the load.

·         Go back in the bedroom.

·         Get the clothes.

·         Turn on the washer.

·         Get everything measured out.

·         Get the clothes in.

·         Check on my water – it’s hot!

·         Fix my coffee.

·         Sit down – 6 new emails.

·         Answer emails.

·         Chat with Cousin.

·         Why is the wash not done yet?

·         BRB Cousin

·         Forgot to close the lid – SHEESH!

·         On the way back to the laptop – kitchen needs tidying.

·         Load the dishwasher.

·         Let me check the living room for dirty cups.

·         Dogs want to go out.

·         Let the dogs out.

·         Man the shelf is dusty.

·         Go get the duster.

·         Dust.

·         Why are Raquel’s sneakers in here?

·         Set the duster on the couch.

·         Bring her sneakers in her room.

·         Hey, that’s my _____!

·         Put my ____ back in my room.

·         Tidy the bedroom.

·         Back to my laptop.

·         BACK Cousin

·         Coffee is cold.

·         BRB Cousin

·         Coffee in Microwave – 30 seconds

·         Washer is done.

·         Clothes in the dryer.

·         Why is the dishwasher open?

·         Oh yeah, dirty cups in the living room.

·         Go get the cups (and the duster).

·         Load the dishwasher

·         Back to laptop – Cousin is gone.

·         I took too long when I said BRB.

·         Where’s my coffee?

This is all before 9am – when my “workday” starts.  I sit in front of my laptop until my next “break” and then the “multi-tasking” begins all over again!

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Something I hadn't anticipated.. The older I get the more I think I suffer from C.R.A.F.T.
Can't Remember A Fucking Thing



Friday, January 20, 2012 |

The humor in growing old

“Getting old is mandatory, growing up is optional”
~Chili Davis

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I’ve traded my acne cream for wrinkle cream. I take vitamins to support heart health and digestive balance. I have to color my hair every four to six weeks to cover the phenomenal amount of wisdom I’ve accumulated over the past 45 years (If you saw how much grey hair I have – you’d think I was a GD genius!). I know aging is a process and is inevitable – but honestly – since I hit 40, aging has become a steep mountain and I am the snowball at the top. This shit is for the birds!


Aboy was 19 years old when we met; I was 21. We have grown up together. He reminds me all the time that I am older than him, Whatever!. As we draw closer to 24 years together – we’re beginning to grow old together. The difference in our aging process – I’m not in denial (besides coloring my hair).

I realized I was getting old when I’d wake up sore and the extent of my physical activity the day before was sitting in front of my laptop all day. Exercise – (which is a whole other blog post) is way over-rated and my theory is – life is tied into fate and destiny… why chance it by keeling over on a treadmill?

Aboy has been in denial. He turned 40 in 2008. It was a pretty uneventful birthday because Aboy still thinks he’s 27. Seriously – he’s put on 100 pounds since I met him in 1988 and still gets out on the basketball court trying to hang with the young guys.

Since we’ve moved to Texas – he’s become a little more realistic. He still goes down to the Rec, but instead of playing on the “NBA court” (you know, the 20 somethings that played sports in high school), now he plays on the “NBDL court” (the kids who were picked last in gym class). He’s a beast on the “NBDL court”!  I believe he’s good for 1 good game on the “NBA court” (Don’t tell him I said that – I’ll never hear the end of it!)  

*For those that don’t know the NBDL is the NBA’s Development League.

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I have worn glasses since I was 19 years old. When I started driving a cab – my distance vision, specifically at night, began getting blurry.  It only took a few years before I was required to wear glasses full-time and now there’s actually a restriction on my license that I have to drive with my glasses on.

I love my glasses. I believe they make me look like an intellectual – and as long as I can keep my mouth shut – people really believe I’m pretty smart!

Aboy is not as comfortable with glasses. He’s been struggling for almost 2 years now – trying to read the fine print on labels and if I send him a text message at night – fuhgetaboutit!

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This morning, Aboy and I were up extra early (also age related). It was so early, the sun wasn’t up yet. We were drinking coffee and watching the news and had a lamp on in the living room so we weren’t sitting in the dark.


Yesterday, I had purchased some dietary supplements so we can add them into our diet. Aboy tends to eat a lot healthier than I do – but, as we’re aging, we both need more of the stuff that we aren’t getting enough of – like antioxidants, omega 3’s and probiotics. I had put the 3 boxes on his table last night because he said he wanted to see what the supplements contained.

So, this morning, while we were sitting in the living room (waiting for the sun to rise), I said, “How many of those vitamins do I have to take a day?” 

Aboy picked up the box and moved it under the gleam of the lamp. He squinted and adjusted the distance so he could focus in… then put the box back on the table and said “I’ll read it later – when the sun comes up”.

I looked at him and my expression screamed “Seriously?

After a long minute - I said “When are you going to get reading glasses?”

I've told you, Aboy watches a lot of movies and many of our conversations mimic lines out of a movie he's watched. Sometimes when he speaks, it's straight out of the movie "Eddie Murphy - Raw" when Eddie Murphy's father PUT THE RULES UP!  <~~ (Click that!) 

Without hesitation, Aboy dignified my question with - “I ain’t wearing no glasses! I’ll be walkin’ into walls in this bitch before I put glasses on my eyes!”

Yea, just call me Lillian!

After I wiped the tears from my eyes and caught my breath from laughing hysterically I tried to picture what our house would look like with bumper guards and padding on the walls. 

Maybe it’ll be easier to get him some knee pads and a helmet.


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This is “Life in my Nutshell” at its finest!






Sunday, January 15, 2012 |

An offer you can't refuse: Coupon Organization

“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success”
~ Alexander Graham Bell

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I have received a few inquiries on how I organize my coupons – because I’m able to find such great deals while I’m shopping.

It’s easy to have all your coupons matched up (with the sales) and pulled out all ready prior to going to the store (recommended), but what happens when you find a great unadvertised sale or clearance item that you think you have a coupon for?

I am a strong believer in preparation. If you put the work in on the front end, you'll reap the fruits of your labor.

My advice: You should use what makes sense to you.

If you prefer a shoe box, clipping your coupons while you’re in the store, envelopes or ziplock bags… it’s your hobby, you have to do what works for you.

What works for me is binders with clear sleeves and dividers. I also carry a small accordion file – separated by store - to keep my coupons apart while I’m shopping.

Since I carry so much, I’ve converted an old beach bag into my coupon satchel. It works (for me).

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My binders have zippers because on (rare) occasion, I’m a klutz. Plus, from throwing them into the back seat, into the coupon bag, pulling them out of the bag, etc… I don’t want anything to fall out – losing it’s place.

I use 2 binders.

1 for Foods (edible) and 1 for Non-Foods (everything else).

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I use clear dividers with pockets – and I’ve given them labels like:
  • Hair Care
  • Facial Care
  • Dental Care
  • Women's Supplies
  • Cleaning Products
  • Paper Products
  • Medicine
  • Vitamins/Supplements
  • Canned Goods
  • Dry Goods
  • Snacks
  • Cooler
  • Freezer

I have various size clear sleeves – to hold different sized coupons. I like to be able to see the entire coupon so at a glance I can see if it’s expired, how much I will save, size, etc.


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In the front pocket of my binder - I keep printed copies of all the coupon policies for all the stores I shop at.

I was going to alphabetize my coupons – but, with them all viewable, I figured I’d use the time I saved to play on Facebook and write my blog (tee-hee).

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My accordion file (which I found on clearance at a craft/hobby store) I have divided by number and then assigned each store a number. I printed out the reference so, I can quickly locate what I need, while I’m in the store

I did this for 2 reasons.

1.      At first, I used zip lock bags (by store) to separate my known deals, but I was finding it hard to stay organized for my finds or separating out the coupons that I had for items that weren’t in stock or weren’t going to work. Now, I just reach into the appropriate file pocket when I get to the register and all the coupons I’m going to use are in one place.

2.      I can store my Store coupons and Store cards in each store’s file pocket – so, everything is together.

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It’s small enough that I stick it between both binders in my coupon satchel. 

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However you decide to organize your coupons, don’t invest too much money. Couponing is a work in progress and as you figure out what you’re doing, you’ll find deals to help you organize!





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