I believe if you eat too many cookies, drink too much beer, go to church or the bar five days a week, or over-extend yourself at work – any type of extreme behavior will have bad affects on your health and/or relationships.
I was very sheltered growing up and since I was an only child and an only grandchild (on my mother’s side) – the amount of attention I was raised with was not conducive to social and personal growth. I was always surrounded by adults and if I went any where (especially with my grandparents) - they hung out with an older crowd and I was usually the only kid in the room.
When I moved out on my own – I was hit with a dose of reality. Just because I wanted something, there was no one available to give it to me. I adapted to my new life and actually appreciated the gratification of working hard to achieve something. I wasn’t one of those spoiled kids that would break up my stuff because I could get new stuff – I always took care of my things… one of my only faults – I didn’t share well.
I was always an honor roll student. I still over-achieve at many of the things I do. After much research, I’ve found out it is more related to the fact of my birth order (I’m a super-first born) than it is my “A-type” personality – but it all works itself out in the wash and being a perfectionist is something I work at overcoming on a daily basis. Being perfect (or trying to achieve perfection) at everything – will make you crazy!
It’s all part of the journey. Live and learn.
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When I was a kid I would do something fucked up and my mother would scream “I HOPE YOU HAVE A KID, JUST LIKE YOU!!”
When I was a kid I would do something fucked up and my mother would scream “I HOPE YOU HAVE A KID, JUST LIKE YOU!!”
Even better, I have FOUR! Yep, they fell off the Terri Tree and hit every branch on the way down. It makes me love them even more because when no one understands why they do some of the crazy shit they do… I can relate!
What I did different from how I was raised - I tried to balance “just enough” (love, attention, rules, punishment, material items) with my kids to allow them to grow and establish their own identities. I actually learned from them, how to forgive, share and trust. I never wished anything on my kids (like my mother did). That would be too easy. Alls I ever wanted for them – and to this day I tell them all the time: “Don’t be me, be better than me!”
I never expect them to be perfect – but I do expect them to live their life with purpose and balance.
They make me very proud, all the time!
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This will all make sense when I post about the challenges of being the parent to adult children - I promise!
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This will all make sense when I post about the challenges of being the parent to adult children - I promise!