Religion, politics and race are very touchy subjects. I am not trying to start a war of words or impose my will on anyone – but I think everyone at some point of their (life’s) journey, questions and evaluates where they are, if they’re on the right path and what is best for them. This is just my version of talking out loud… mostly because of the time of year it is, the political dysfunction that has incorporated religion as a battleground topic, and where I am personally with it all.
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I was born and raised a Catholic. Baptized, communed, confirmed. I didn’t really understand my religion but I was intrigued by Catholic beliefs like reincarnation and repenting my sins (how cool is it that all you have to do is confess to a priest – like God didn’t know you did it in the first place – and you were forgiven). As I got older, I started to understand what it meant to be Catholic and there were things within the religion that I couldn’t identify with. I began to explore my options.
I believe in God. Going to church doesn’t make me a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes me a car. Some of the most Christian-like people I know, are like me… they just do what is right, everyday – regardless to who is watching and without the direction of a Pastor who has an agenda. I try to live by the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments. I’m not a “Holy-Roller”. I can have a conversation without citing passages from the bible or reading a devotional every day. Life should be balanced – I try not to do anything to the extreme – because “just enough” is a great place to be.
Spirituality (beyond religion) is a very private thing for me. I pray every day. As a matter of fact I pray multiple times a day. When Ben was stationed in Afghanistan – I could say 5 “Our Father’s” and 2 “Hail Mary’s” in under 2 minutes. I didn’t ask for anything specific - because in my opinion, prayer is not asking for something – it’s praying that what will be, will be - what happens is God’s will. I say my prayers to let God know I trust in him and he knows what’s best.
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In the late 90’s – into the early ‘00’s… I was a software trainer for church software. I worked in the northeast, training churches on how to use their computers/software. It really opened my eyes to the “industry”.
I say “industry” because although there are MANY good people that work at the churches and minister their people – in 4 out of 10 cases – it’s a scam. I’m not making that number up, either. Let me tell you why… If you show up for church on Sunday in a car that is in ill-repair, or if it’s nice, but you are behind a payment, or maybe you had to catch a ride, but your pastor pulls up in a brand new motor vehicle – you’re paying for him to drive that car. It’s a scam. I think some of the biggest hypocrites go to church with their fancy clothes (to impress others) knowing their own house is not in order and tithe their paychecks to a pastor that’s riding around in a Benz. Even if your church has ministries that cater to the masses (marriage ministry, teenage ministry, community outreach), this is just a way of keeping people involved in church. If there’s not stuff there to make you feel good and a part of the community – why bother, right? They promote that as fellowship.
True story: I went to a church to train the staff and pastor on their new church software. Before I could train them, they asked me if I could install the software because the pastor (who does all the IT stuff) would be running late. His computer was going to act as the server and all the other PC’s in the church would be workstations. Let me tell you what I found… on the Pastor’s computer… in the browser’s cache, cookies and history folders. XXX websites… big booty girls, big tittie girls – you name it… there were about 100 different cookie files. But, that wasn’t it (like that wasn’t disturbing enough)! The senior office administrator wanted to know if I could create a custom field to put each member’s annual salary so they could plan their budget based on the rule of tithing 10% of your income. She asked me before the Pastor pulled up in his brand new BMW sedan.
Yep, church is a big industry. Think of all these mega-churches that are popping up. I know the church I used to go to on Long Island only does service and ministries – they do not perform weddings or funerals. The church can hold up to 2,500 members at one service and the service is so moving – you walk out of there feeling like new money. They have released some kick-ass CD’s – their band is awesome! The Bishop is a converted Catholic and when Pastor Sam comes out – reach for your wallet… he’ll send the pot around at least 2 or 3 times a service. The entire pastoral staff drives brand new cars.
I’m not advocating that anyone become an atheist – but I do think that it’s OK to question where your $20, $50 or $100 is going every week. Personally, I’d rather give my 10% to a food bank or woman’s shelter – that’s where God’s work is really being done. Taking care of your neighbors is where you’ll reap the most rewards. God pays you back 10 times over (in blessings) when you help his children. I don’t need a church to decide how to spend my money.
Where you’ll really find Jesus is in jails and drug rehabs. Jesus has put many on the right path – because at some of the lowest points of your life is when you need to focus on something other than what’s causing you grief at that moment and the bible (as a whole) has a determined message that if you live righteously and do right by people, life is rewarding. I think some people need church; kind of like reinforcement of their commitment to the word.
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So, now I’m at a crossroads (again). I never paid attention before and have always trusted what I’ve been taught – that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday on Christmas. Come to find out – Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas. Christmas is a Pagan holiday and based on some of the things I believe in – I even have Pagan tendencies. Many cultures have a blend of Christian and Pagan beliefs within their Christian Religions. Irish Catholicism, Mexican, Italian and South American Catholicism all have incorporated many Pagan beliefs and customs into their Christian faith. So, this is probably why I am in such mental disarray right now.
I have to say – my life was quite happy when I thought Jesus was born on Christmas Day and Santa came down the chimney. I think I’ve concluded: Google is the devil! How dare they search through all this information on the internet - that would otherwise take me years of research!
*************S/N: I don't really think Google is the devil - I just think that the powers that be want you to follow along and not question anything - because that's what good "Christians" do.
I invite you to read this BLOG. It really made me reflect on my commitment to being a good person. I have friends in all shapes, sizes and colors and try every day to be a more tolerant person – because even though I’m a Christian (with Pagan tendencies), I always aspire to do what’s right.