I said that to say this

I feel deflated. I’m a truth-seeker by nature and I feel like I just found out the Yankees aren’t the greatest baseball team to ever play the game!

Yes… THAT bad!

In yesterday’s post I shared my turmoil of Church, being a “Christian” and what I’ve learned about the true meaning of Christmas. Honestly, my entire religious upbringing was based on lies! Yeah, I have the fundamental values of being a Christian – but some of this stuff is just folklore being passed off as gospel. I was duped into believing that CHRISTmas was for the birth of Jesus Christ – when in actuality, Christians used an existing Pagan holiday feast and slowly changed the meaning to suit their needs. Also, just like any other thing you’ve ever encountered in your life – depending on who is telling the story, the story or vision changes.

(I’m throwing a tantrum right now – you just can’t see it!)

A comment that I made on my Facebook page regarding yesterday’s blog:

I love Christmas, but like I'm finding out - growing up as a Catholic - I actually embrace some (other) Pagan values. It's probably why I struggled so much as a Catholic and just feel like my spirituality is what's most important - not what church I belong to. Religion (denomination) is just the "word" that you believe. Spirituality is what you feel with your heart. I've never been much of a follower - so as long as I walk the walk, it doesn't matter what denomination I identify with - as long as I live a righteous life.

The title "Google is the devil" just means that - all the things "they" (the people that preach) didn't want you to know (because we all follow along aimlessly - thinking we're being good "Christians") - is now available through a Google search. Even though everything is compromised by interpretation - it's kind of like reading an article in Newsday. You take it with a grain of salt, do your own research and make your own decision based on your research.

Now what?

I still believe in God, but I have to be honest – I have some reservations about the recollections of the bible – because just like CHRISTmas is obviously an interpretation… what else have we been led to believe, that was for the benefit of a religion (not spirituality)? We are counting on the people that translated it from its original language that they did not twist what was written as to how they understood it to be. If I say (in Spanish) to a friend “Que pasa, amigo?” - I want it to mean “What’s up, my friend?” when in actuality it means “what’s going, buddy?”  Something is lost in the translation – “nah, mean?“

And then you have the situation of the double entendre. If I write: “New study of obesity looks for larger test group”… of course you understand what I’m trying to say – but if you analyze it – or try to read more into it, you can see the double meaning. How am I assured that it can be translated how I wrote it or that the meaning of what I am trying to say is interpreted properly?

<sigh>

I guess the best I can do is pray and seek direction.

**********

All through my schooling – I was an excellent English and math student. I’m going to share a slight flaw I have – as long as you promise to keep amongst us – I suck at science.

To me, religion is science. There are variables, constants, and controlled/uncontrolled environments as to what can produce an answer – and even worse, the answer may or may not come out the same way twice. What's to say, my findings are not swayed by my own personal agenda, either? I mean I am a mother and I see my children's flaws through a mother's eyes. That is, afterall, my reality - right?

The more I uncover, the more aggravated I get because it shouldn’t be this hard. 2 + 2 = 4 for cripes sake! Can’t we just plug in some numbers (facts) and decipher an answer – without any spin, agenda or variables? 

SHEESH!

Well, at least the Yankees are still the greatest baseball team to ever play the game.